


it's because and for you

by orro



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Gen, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 03:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9054289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orro/pseuds/orro
Summary: In which Alluka is determined that the three of them have a fun time playing tourist, Killua is on edge because this is a terrible, dangerous idea but can't deny Alluka, and Kalluto is really confused about how he's the third person in the party.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bubblyhunter](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=bubblyhunter).



> happy hxholidays bubblyhunter! i hope you enjoy!

Kalluto sees Killua a split second before his brother spots him. It’s a moot point in the end and normally Kalluto would have tried to feel pride in the fact that he beat Killua at anything. But Killua is laughing at something, at ease and calm while Kalluto is here to gather intel on a curse breaker nen user since Feitan has gotten involved in a rather sticky situation.

There are too many people around which is why Killua turns away, pretending he’s seen nothing and calling no attention to him. Kalluto doesn’t miss a step either. He’s a Zoldyck and a Spider. The tourists around them never notice a thing which is exactly as it should be. 

The pin drops for him when Kalluto realizes that the girl standing next to Killua is Alluka. And then his blood begins to boil in a way it rarely ever does; Killua and matters pertaining to him are the only things that cause such a reaction in him. 

She’s talking and pointing something out to Killua, which draws his attention away from Kalluto; whatever cheap tourist knick knack has captured her interest, Kalluto takes the moment to slip from sight. He can still feel Killua’s eyes on him which doesn’t surprise him. Killua has always been the best Zoldyck. Even in a port side town with millions of people Killua won’t lose track of any one who presents a danger.

Kalluto’s intel can wait for another day. He keeps an eye on Killua, keeping up with him as they wind through the street market. Kalluto may train hard but Killua is a genius and the only reason Kalluto is keeping him in sight is because Killua is allowing it. 

They will meet later at night, once Killua has tucked Alluka away to bed. Kalluto doesn’t need to say anything to Killua to know. They are both Zoldycks even if Killua seems to disdain his namesake though he is their most promising of sons. 

Kalluto had his twelfth birthday just a month ago, alone, for he hadn’t said a word of it to the other Spiders. They are a family and he is the intruder who has camouflaged his way into their group. His actual family is distant for they understand the risk he has chosen to undertake. They are capable and strong but the Spiders are deadly. 

He hopes they haven’t given up on Killua. Out of all the Zoldycks, including himself, Killua is the most suited to take up the mantle of head. Under his leadership the Zoldycks will soar to new heights. Killua is stubborn and prideful, and he will return to their family, but it will take time. 

Once the sun begins to set they check into a modest hotel, which Kalluto sniffs at even as he has spent nights in far worse places with the Spiders. He waits an hour then sees Killua stroll out as if he were doing nothing more than going out for a nighttime walk. 

Kalluto follows him, still staying hidden in the shadows and rooftops until Killua turns into an empty parking lot. The buildings are empty around it and Kalluto stays behind one until Killua tilts his head back. 

“Come on out,” Killua calls to him. 

Kalluto takes a deep breath while Killua can’t see then obeys. It’s good to see his brother again, and he marvels at how he’s grown. Killua looks almost like an adult, with his long forest green coat and the striped scarf around his neck. The pants are a hideous shade of pink with garish strips of silver on the sides but as ridiculous as it looks, he’s sure Killua adores it. 

There’s something soft about his face that Kalluto can’t pinpoint but his aura is still sharp and ready to kill. It’s comforting even as it’s directed at him.

“Figures Kikyo would send you,” Killua snarls and Kalluto has to take a moment to process that Killua has used their mother's name instead of calling her mother. This is a fact he has known for years but then again, it’s been nearly that long since he’s last heard Killua’s voice. 

“S-she didn’t,” Kalluto says. 

“Liar.” 

“She didn’t,” Kalluto says more forcefully. “I haven’t even seen Mother in a year. The Spiders are too dangerous.” 

Killua is quiet for a moment. His eyes are raking over Kalluto’s skin looking for the signature tattoo. Kalluto carefully pulls up the sleeve of his furisode so he can show Killua.

“So you really are a Spider,” Killua says. There’s no surprise in his voice. But there is a deep disappointment in the lilt of his scowl and the way his shoulders relax as he gets ready to fight.

Killua’s gaze burns but Kalluto doesn’t let his sleeve down. Killua is staring at him, focused only on Kalluto for once in their lives, and he can’t bring himself to break that even though the disdain in Killua’s voice is thicker than their blood.

“How’d the old man take the news?” Killua asks after a minute of pure, agonizing silence. 

“He disapproves,” Kalluto says mildly as shifts, covering up the tattoo. Killua’s gaze doesn’t leave his arm and Kalluto fights to keep from covering it with his hand. His eyes ache in the best possible way but it still hurts. 

“And Kikyo?” 

“Mother doesn’t…” Kalluto stops and tries to find the right words. But in the pause Killua gives off a harsh laugh that Kalluto doesn’t comprehend. He frowns at his brother for an explanation. 

“She doesn’t know? Our mother doesn’t know about something that you’re up to?” 

“She knows,” Kalluto says, confused because of course Mother knows. 

“Huh?”

“Father doesn’t understand at all. Mother understands a little though she doesn’t want to oppose Father in this and so her support is mixed,” he finally says. It’s a far more stable answer than crying ‘it’s because and for you!’ 

Killua wouldn’t understand either. 

“So what’s it all for? Joining the Spiders?” Kalluto doesn’t say anything and Killua sighs when he realizes he won’t be getting an answer. “Whatever. If you’re not here on Kikyo’s orders, and you’re not here on the old man’s, then you can just leave us the hell alone. I don’t want to get involved with the Spiders again.” 

“Again?” Kalluto asks. This, he’s never heard of, and the Spiders are very well aware that he’s a Zoldyck. Surely they would have mentioned it, if at least in passing to one another. Not all of them are intelligent, after all. 

“Don’t think about it. It’s done and over with anyway. Has been for a long time,” Killua says. “Don’t follow us and no one will cause trouble.” 

Killua turns to leave.

“I heard about Alluka,” Kalluto says. Killua stops.

“I thought you were here to kill her,” Killua says. He tilts his head back a little and narrows his eyes at him. “I think you might still be. Kikyo would love it if Alluka died.” 

“I only found out a month ago,” Kalluto says. He’s not sure if it actually has been a month but it’s a very recent discovery. He’s not lying about that much. Kalluto looks at Killua. “You’re foolish, brother. Alluka isn’t something that can be controlled.” 

“What the hell do you know,” Killua says and there’s no anger in his voice because he’s far past that. There is a cold cruelty and Kalluto doesn't doubt that Killua would strike at him. The question isn’t even if he would strike to kill. It’s if Killua would mourn Kalluto at all and that is something he doesn’t want to hear the answer to.

“Father and Mother know,” Kalluto says. “Alluka could bring the end of the Zoldycks. We can’t let that happen. I don’t know why they let you take Alluka. It’s too dangerous.” 

“And you wondered why I thought Kikyo had sent you,” Killua says, turning to face him once more. His eyes are bright, reflecting the lamplights, but his hands are in his pockets and he’s standing at ease. 

“She’s not wrong,” Kalluto says.

“You and Kikyo have always been too closely intertwined,” Killua says. “Don’t come near us again, Kalluto. I can’t guarantee you’ll live.” 

Kalluto lets him walk away this time. He presses a hand to his mouth to keep from letting any noise out because Killua can’t hear him. In a way it doesn’t matter though; it’s not like Killua would care. That’s clear to Kalluto now.

It takes him ten, fifteen minutes to calm down. Or maybe an hour; he can’t tell. All he knows is that once he’s collected himself again, he heads to find a hotel room for the night. He’s not in shape to do anything other than collapse into a bed and nurse his heartache. 

And tonight he’s going to have to fight off the urge to call Mother. It’s not fair that Killua can be so cruel to him.

#

The next day, Kalluto makes no attempt to seek out Killua again despite knowing exactly where he is. It’s a failing that Killua wouldn’t just pack up and move since Kalluto knows where he’s staying. But perhaps it’s calculated, a warning to Kalluto to stay away, that Killua means his threat.

He has no desire to find out. Kalluto wants to find out if the curse breaker is here or not and leave. So when Killua is the one to approach him as he leaves his hotel, Kalluto doesn’t help his look of surprise, nor does he stop himself. 

“What do you want?” Kalluto demands, fan out, ready to fight. Killua has Alluka behind him but his hands are in his pockets. He makes no move to defend them. There’s no one at the hotel entrance but Kalluto is very well aware of how much they stand out.

“Alluka wants to talk to you,” Killua says. “It was all her idea.” 

Kalluto believes that and it’s not just because of the sour look Killua wears. Alluka is a fool, an idiot, and she’s only alive because of Killua. She has no idea how blessed she is and Kalluto fights down his fury and jealousy so that Killua won’t mistake it for a killing aura. 

“We haven’t really spoken,” Alluka says. She doesn’t look at him as she speaks but Kalluto still has the feeling that her eyes are on him somehow. “We were both so young when we were separated.” 

“You were dangerous.” His tone is enough that even someone as dense as her should be able to understand that he still believes her to be so. He tries to lessen his grip on his weapon but instead he clutches to it tighter; it anchors him to reality. 

Alluka is not a Zoldyck. Alluka is an unstable powerhouse. And Killua is in danger while he’s playing this facsimile of siblings.

“Maybe,” Alluka says. “The rules aren’t difficult though. They couldn’t be. We were children.” 

“It doesn’t matter about your rules. You can’t control your power. It could backfire on us and destroy everything we’ve built up.” 

“It could have. It won’t now,” Alluka says softly. “I wouldn’t let Nanika do that.” 

Kalluto frowns in confusion before he recalls that other half of Alluka. That must be the name for it. 

“Let’s find something to eat,” Alluka says. “We haven’t had breakfast yet. What do you like?” 

“What?” 

“Breakfast. Food. You’re not actually a doll, you need to eat, so what do you want?” Killua says, not meeting his eyes. He’s got him in the corner of his gaze and Kalluto has a feeling that’s how this day will go if he takes them up on this ridiculous offer. 

“I-I don’t know,” Kalluto says. He eats whatever is nearest because it’s nothing like the meals from home. All he needs is enough to keep his body fueled.

“Then let’s go find out,” Alluka says and she makes to wrap herself around Kalluto’s arm. Before she can, Killua shoots a hand out to stop her, grabbing her and pulling her close. 

“Don’t, Alluka,” he warns and Kalluto smirks a little to himself. At least Killua isn’t underestimating him or his rage. 

Alluka pouts for a moment then shrugs, Killua’s hand slipping from her arm. Instead she steps in front of them and calls out that she’s leading the way. Killua wears a lazy smile as he watches her and falls in step behind her. Kalluto stays to Killua’s side as Alluka begins to investigate the nearest shops. 

“I can’t believe you agreed to this,” Kalluto murmurs so that Alluka won’t hear. 

“I can’t either,” Killua admits freely. “Alluka is better than both of us though. You don’t believe that of course but it’s true. And she’s not stupid; she’s just been locked up for way too long. I think you can understand that.” 

“I’ve never been locked up,” Kalluto says in a low tone. He doesn’t keep the dangerous tone out of his voice. Killua can make all the snide comments he wants but the Zoldycks are Kalluto’s precious family. He’ll protect them even from their own. 

“Not physically,” Killua agrees. He points to his head. “But up here, you’re a scrambled mess, and you can’t figure that out. I know what it’s like. And I know how I got out of it. I don’t know how you’re going to, if you even want to. That’s the real question.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Alluka thinks-” 

“This place looks good!” Alluka interrupts and they stop mid conversation to see Alluka standing in front of a crepe stand. 

“Yeah, it does,” Killua agrees and goes to order. Before Kalluto can protest or even say anything, there’s a crepe shoved into his hand, a chilly juice box in his other hand, and he’s taking a bite. 

It tastes fine, the powdered sugar on the batter an elegant touch that he appreciates before it begins to fall and cover his clothes. He bats away at it furiously as if it were lethal and Killua snickers through a mouthful. 

They sit along a fountain to take a moment to eat and Kalluto has to focus on the sound of the water to drown out the hordes of people. Kukuroo Mountain is blissful solitude and the Spiders keep to themselves more often than not. It’s only when they’re causing trouble that they really interact with the outside world. 

He can’t comprehend how Killua and Alluka can look so at ease as they eat without a care. Though Alluka doesn’t look quite comfortable, he realizes as he watches her expression twist.

“This is gross,” Alluka says, forcing herself to take another mouthful. 

“Then stop eating it,” Killua says. “I’ll finish it off for you.”

“Nanika likes it. Somehow,” Alluka says as she chews with a revolted expression on her face. “How do you two like it?” 

“It’s okay. I should have added some of the syrups,” Killua says as he pops the last bite into his mouth and drains the last of the juice box. 

“How about you, Kalluto?” she asks him. 

Kalluto finishes chewing his bite. 

“Uh, it’s fine? Good.” 

“Would you get it again?” Killua asks and Kalluto looks at the half in his hand. 

“No,” he says and Killua laughs. 

“Then I don’t think it’s actually fine or good.”

“It’s food,” Kalluto says with a shrug. 

“If that’s what you want to call it,” Alluka says as she forces herself to eat the last bite. Killua clicks his tongue at her and they stop by a shop to buy her a frosted cookie. The sweet treat wipes the disgusted look from her face. 

Kalluto watches as Killua inhales his while they’re still in the shop. He stares at the delicate confection. He hadn’t asked or wanted it but Killua had shoved it at him and Kalluto had accepted it without complaints. Part of him is sure that it’s just because it was Killua giving it to him and he can admit to himself that he will never deny Killua.

“So, Kalluto, what are you doing in this city?” Alluka asks with a bright smile as they take to the streets again.

Kalluto glances at Killua who has a very forced smile on his lips and murder in his eyes. 

“Gathering information,” Kalluto says. “I can’t say more than that.” 

“Oh,” Alluka says, blinking. “That sounds...cool.” 

Killua huffs a laugh and Kalluto glares at him. 

“Are you going to eat that or can I have it?” Killua asks, nodding at his cookie. 

Kalluto takes a small bite, his eyes widening at just how sugary it is. His next bite is significantly larger, enough that he has to catch the crumbs that fall before they land on his clothes. 

“I think I’ll eat this one,” Kalluto says and Killua gives a scoff. 

“See,” Alluka says but she offers no further explanations. Kalluto looks at her but she’s already off, chittering about how cute some of the shops are and how she’s looking forward to the rest of the day. 

“We’re not buying more stuff,” Killua says. “We can only carry so much.”

“We went shopping yesterday but there’s a lot of cool tourist things to do here,” Alluka says brightly. “They have a place where you can pet the poli birds and they’re so cute! We didn’t get to do that yesterday because we were eating and you can’t feed them. Apparently they’re really sensitive about their weight.” 

Kalluto looks at her, confused, but she doesn’t notice. She’s looking around for these birds. 

“I want to see them. Gotta get a picture to show Gon,” Killua says. “He likes that kind of stuff.” 

Kalluto can’t help his scowl and Killua notices it right away. There are many people Kalluto dislikes but few that he genuinely abhors. Gon has kept his name on the second list far longer than anyone else only by virtue of the fact that Killua would retaliate in a heartbeat if anything happened to Gon. Kalluto doesn’t hide his obvious disgust.

Killua’s expression closes off a bit and he sticks his hands in his pockets. For a moment he doesn’t say anything, staring at his shoes even as he avoids running into people. 

“He’s my best friend,” Killua says. Alluka is leading the way and she’s not paying attention to them in her search. “I left home before I met him. And I would have left again.” 

“He’s ruined you.” 

“No, he’s my best friend,” Killua repeats, his tone and words simple, clear, unhesitant. “You don’t understand. I’m still me, Killua Zoldyck, but Gon makes me forget that. I’m just Killua to him.” 

Kalluto blinks at that. Killua looks up and gives a soft laugh. 

“That doesn’t make any sense.” 

“Like I said-” Killua smiles, soft and certain, “-you don’t understand.” 

He’s getting annoyed with that phrase. But Killua doesn’t look smug as he speaks. It’s more of a melancholy look, like he’s a hair width away from pitying Kalluto. He wouldn’t be able to stand that and maybe Killua realizes that since he stops talking. Alluka stops in place and Kalluto nearly runs into her. 

“Ah, Killua? I can’t find the poli birds,” Alluka says.

“I think they were closer to the train station,” Killua says, pointing to the west and Alluka lets him take the lead. 

She falls into step with Kalluto. 

“I hope you like them. They’re really cute,” Alluka says. 

Kalluto makes a noncommittal noise and Alluka giggles a little. 

“What?” he snaps even as he can feel Killua’s back warning him to watch himself. 

“You remind me of Killua when he gets shy,” Alluka says. 

“Hey,” Killua says in a joking tone. His face is still turned forward so Kalluto can’t see his expression. Alluka smiles at him but her attention is still on Kalluto. 

“Killua is the best but I know he’s not like this with everyone,” Alluka says. She taps her finger against her cheek. “When you get angry, you twist your mouth the same way, and your nose scrunches up like this.” 

Alluka pulls a face and Kalluto covers his mouth with his hand. He’s seen that expression on Killua plenty of times and it’s a perfect imitation. Though he’s pretty certain his scowl is much more fearsome than that. 

Alluka can tell he’s smiling though and she’s far too satisfied about it, so Kalluto faces forward and ignores her. The town looks different when he’s observing it as a tourist rather than as simply a means for information. It’s bright and Kalluto almost wants to call it friendly, the people milling about as much of the background as the bright white stones that line the roadways and the clear blue sky above.

He pauses for a moment, racking his brain as he tries to remember the last time he visited somewhere for a vacation or just relaxation. 

“That’s the place, right?” Killua says as he points ahead and Alluka’s eyes widen in happiness. 

“You’re the best,” she exclaims, throwing her arms around Killua so freely that Kalluto’s heart clenches. 

Alluka breaks into a sprint, calling out apologies when she bumps into people, and Killua laughs at her. They are so casual to one another and Kalluto fights down his jealousy. 

“Come on, she doesn’t have enough money on her,” Killua says. 

They pay their admission, listen to a brief explanation of how to interact with the birds, and the next thing Kalluto knows he’s in a cage with dozens of fat, white birds. Killua is throwing biscuits at them, grinning like a fool when two of them fight over a single one. Alluka has a bird in her arms and is cooing at it; Kalluto is pretty sure she’s communicating with it somehow.

Kalluto stands still as one bird makes itself at home on his head. Before he can shake his head to dislodge the creature, another one settles on his shoulder, and he barely suppresses a whimper.

“You’re not used to doing this sort of thing, are you,” Killua says and he’s got a stupid smirk on his face. 

“They’re going to ruin my clothes,” Kalluto says in a horrified whisper. But he doesn’t move away. The birds’ claws will definitely snag and he cannot stand the idea. Mother gave him this kimono and he can wear it still. He hasn’t outgrown it yet like everything else she has given him to wear.

One of the long poofy tails hits him in the face and Kalluto only just holds back a scream. Luckily Killua doesn’t see but Alluka does; he’s not sure which would be worse. 

“You can wait outside for us,” Alluka says gently and he wants to hate that tone but instead he nods and makes a dignified scramble for escape. 

It takes Kalluto more than a few minutes to calm down. He’s not even sitting up properly, all slouched against the first bench he had found, more curled up in himself than sitting; if anyone recognized him it’d be a miracle for he’s certain he doesn’t look much like himself at the moment. This whole day has been ridiculous. 

Kalluto stares without focus at the people around him. They probably assume he’s part of a festival or performance and leave him alone. His gaze turns upward to the sky. There’s a building that has balloons attached to a plaza at the top. He’s not used to the daylight, to the sights and sounds of an active town; he’s used to crawling in the underfoot and silencing horrified screams. 

Kalluto watches as Killua and Alluka leave the poli birds; Alluka searches around for him but Killua finds him right away. He takes her by the arm, ever so gently, and guides her attention. 

“Nanika would have loved that,” Alluka says in a whisper but Kalluto hears nonetheless. 

Killua shushes her and that secures Kalluto’s interest. But before he can ask Killua bends down to look him in the eyes. 

“Are you okay? If we’d known you were scared of birds we wouldn’t have taken you in there.” 

“I am not scared of birds,” Kalluto says through gritted teeth. 

“I don’t like ants. Everyone’s got a thing. Chill,” Killua says with a shrug. 

Kalluto glares at him and stands up.

“Who is Nanika?” he asks. 

“Bastard,” Killua says conversationally though his eyes are clouded. “Don’t play stupid. You know who she is.” 

Kalluto looks at Alluka. She meets his gaze head on. 

“Nanika doesn’t want to meet you yet,” Alluka says. She pauses. “No, it’s that Killua and I don’t want to let her meet you. We want to keep her safe. He- we still think you’re too dangerous. You might try to hurt her.” 

“You’re the same thing- person to me,” Kalluto says. 

“I know,” Alluka says with a shrug and a helpless smile. “Killua has been worried sick all day but I’m greedy. I want to be friends with all of my siblings.” 

“Oy,” Killua says but Alluka ignores him. 

“You can’t,” Kalluto says abruptly. He thinks of Illumi, of Milluki, of their Mother and Father; there’s foolish and there’s suicidal. Alluka can never have what she wants from them. 

“I agree with this asshole,” Killua says. He’s looking up at the sky, eyes seemingly focused on the criss cross of the telephone lines. “The Zoldycks are killers; we aren’t a happy family. And that’s not going to change.” 

“It could, if you-” Kalluto begins but he stops himself before Killua can even glare at him. 

“He won’t do it. Killua will never return to the Zoldycks as long as he’s with me,” Alluka says calmly and Kalluto wants to burn. But the fire dies down when he realizes that’s a touch of sadness in Alluka’s voice. 

He blinks at her but she doesn’t notice. It’s comforting in a way to know that she’s fully aware of what Killua has given up for her. He cannot return to Kukuroo Mountain with Alluka by his side. Not yet, and maybe not ever; that thought is too disheartening for Kalluto to fathom. But he yearns for his home in a way that he’s starting to realize Killua and Alluka don’t share.

“Let’s get lunch,” Killua says. He glances at the time on his phone. “Well, dinner, maybe. We had a late breakfast.” 

“Food!” Alluka claps her hands in agreement. “Where shall we eat? Kalluto, you pick this time.” 

They begin to walk again, Kalluto unintentionally leading the way as he inspects each restaurant, stand, and cart that sell food. Something smells spicy and he looks around till he finds the source. It’s a restaurant with a server handing out samples of flavored tofu along with some kind of seasoned meat. 

“This looks good, right?” he asks. 

“I dunno,” Killua says and he’s about to panic and pick something else when Alluka shoots her hand up in the air. 

“I want to try it,” she says, a determined gleam in her eye. 

Killua rolls his eyes but he doesn’t say no to Alluka. Kalluto quickly discovers why as Killua winces at his plate and steels himself for his first bite.

“Shit!” Killua takes the pitcher of water and downs half of it. “What the hell is wrong with you two?” 

“It’s really good,” Alluka says and Kalluto nods. “Ask for something more mild.” 

“That was the most mild thing on the damn menu,” Killua hisses. “You’re crazy.” 

Alluka shrugs and takes a larger bite of her tofu. 

Killua stares at the menu again then frowns at something. He leans over to Kalluto, pointing at one of the entrees. “Wasn’t this another name for those birds we saw earlier?” 

Kalluto doesn’t suppress a shiver at the memory but he does take note, relishing in how close Killua is to him. They’ve never spoken so much before and he wants to bottle it up to keep it forever. His eyes widen a little and they both look at Alluka at the same time. 

“What?” she asks, happily taking another bite. 

“Nothing,” they say in unison. 

Kalluto stares at his plate then smirks a little as he tears into the meat. Maybe he likes poli birds more than he had initially suspected. 

Alluka and Kalluto end up splitting Killua’s plate while Killua complains half heartedly about siblings with disgusting tastes. There’s no menace in his voice and Kalluto tries to burn the timbre into his memory.

Once they finish, they head back out into town, the lights beginning to flicker on as the sun sets. Killua finds a pizza shop and though they’ve just eaten, Alluka and Kalluto indulge in a slice as well. His stomach is stuffed, a sensation that is almost foreign, but he forces himself to keep on walking beside his siblings. 

They’re all quiet as they let their food settle. Eventually they find a nook away from the bustle of the night crowd and settle against the closed shop to give their feet a break. 

“It’s getting late,” Killua says, a bit far away. He still has Kalluto in his sights, he has all day, but it isn’t the sharp scrutiny that Kalluto has felt from earlier. 

“I guess,” Alluka says. She yawns against her will. “We go to sleep, right, Killua? I don’t want to. But we have more places to see tomorrow.” 

Killua nods but he doesn’t move.

“A-are we going out tomorrow?” Kalluto forces himself to ask. He hates the tremor in his voice but he couldn’t stop it, no matter how hard he tried.

“We’re leaving right after you go back to your hotel,” Alluka says. 

Kalluto blinks. 

“It’d be rude to just take off on you with no warning, Alluka says.” Killua face is blank up until he says Alluka’s name and then he wears a small soft smile. Kalluto’s jealousy still burns but it’s a smolder compared to the inferno of yesterday or even this morning. 

“Come back home,” Kalluto pleads, standing up. He fights back the catch in his voice, gripping his hands into fist so tight he’s surprised he hasn’t drawn blood yet. “I’ll leave the Spider, just please, let’s go back.” 

“And Alluka?” Killua asks coolly. 

Kalluto hesitates; he can’t help it. But he continues anyway. 

“She can come too. But please-” 

“Yeah, no, that’s the thing, Kalluto. Alluka isn’t a Zoldyck to you guys. She’s a liability to the family. That’s how they see it,” Killua says. He sighs and scratches the back of his head as he thinks. “Maybe you’re not Kikyo’s puppet but you’re still a Zoldyck to your guts.” 

Kalluto looks at Alluka. She doesn’t seem upset, but she’s definitely not happy at the moment. She gives a helpless little shrug and says nothing, wrapping her arms around her knees. On some level she must know that Kalluto won’t change his mind; Alluka’s powers and Nanika’s existence aren’t something that can be controlled. And she’s still dangerous even if Killua thinks he’s immune. 

“Then stay safe. Please,” Kalluto asks. They’ve always known the grim nature of their world but since joining the Spiders, it seems far more rotten than Kalluto had ever known. 

“We can do that,” Killua says. He pauses. “You’re strong. You’ll be fine.”

Kalluto nearly sobs right there. He has to take an unsightly breathe to keep from tearing up and nods to Killua. 

Alluka stands up and spreads her arms for a hug. Kalluto blinks at her and after a moment steps forward so she can wrap her arms around him. He almost forgets to hug back and he can feel the pitying and embarrassed look from Killua.

“You stay safe too, little brother,” Alluka says to him. 

“R-right,” Kalluto says. 

Kalluto watches them, unsurprised when Killua activates his Godspeed and takes off. In the blink of an eye they are both beyond his sight and reach. He could have tagged them but Killua would have found the paper; it might have even burnt up from Godspeed. The paper dolls are ready but they stay in between his fingers. 

Alluka isn’t the only one with much to see in the world. He too still has much he needs to learn. Kalluto slides his fingers under his clothes so he can touch the spider tattoo. 

It’s been more than a year since he saw the rest of his family, since he spoke with his Mother and Father. Maybe it’s time for him to return to being a Zoldyck.


End file.
